I remember more than 5 years ago, my former boss asked me to take an assessment in which it aims to identify my competency strengths and weaknesses. I was asked to select from a long list of competencies. I vividly remember that I identified “dealing with ambiguity and uncertainty” as the least of my competency.
There was even a questionnaire in which I was asked to explain why. All I can remember is that I wrote, “I feel uncomfortable when I do not know what’s ahead of me. I do not thrive when there is no clarity on things that surrounds me.”
And with all that is happening right now, it is safe to say that I am not thriving in this pandemic situation.
Sure, I find myself productive day in and day out. I continuously work from home while juggling household responsibilities. My brother and I share the load of taking care of our mom. Lately, I’ve been working even on weekends because of urgent tasks at work. I try to take things one day at a time. But as days go by, I feel like losing hope.
It has been more than a month and I’m losing hope. How long is this going to happen? When will this end? Are we still going back to normal? I’m sure it’s not just me who’s asking these questions. Unfortunately, no one has the answer to this.
In the recent years, I learned to ask myself this ultimate question when hardships persist: “What is this telling me?” And at some point when time unfolds, I get the answers to my question.
I lost count of the days now. One thing is for sure, what this pandemic is telling me is to embrace ambiguity and uncertainty.